


from within, to be without

by tradrishanally



Series: The United States of Chaos* (*Read: America) [5]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Statetalia
Genre: Gen, Losing Time, Pre-Revolution to Civil War, References to Depression, References to Schizophrenia, does it count if your brother was also the voice in your head?, sibling relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 14:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17061494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tradrishanally/pseuds/tradrishanally
Summary: Brett was the voice in Bridgette's head- always the differing opinion.





	from within, to be without

She walks through the forest with the ease of someone who has lived there for their whole life, and she knows she’s safe and able.

oOo

She sees the men before they see her and she tells her about it.

oOo

They bring over the ones that resemble her- _children_ \- and the women after a year.  
A year later she can feel the weakness set in and her stomach ache for food, but no matter how much she eats, it does nothing and she can’t fathom how this could have happened.

oOo

The women see her and her hair and her eyes and bring her in. Powhatan smiles and tells her that she’ll thrive along with the white men. She nods and leaves with them but she keeps looking back.

oOo

The name her ( _Bridgette Camille Evanson_ ) and they allow her to stay, they give her clothes and shoes, a home with a few of the ladies, and it’s peaceful.

They seem to know what she is- immortal, but humanlike- and they see it as she is a goddess of sorts. They treat her like the men but in a dress and stays (and feminine, above all else).

She sees the flaws of the settlement before she sees the good of it. There were too many in one spot.

oOo

Powhatan takes her back in the midst of a battle and hides her away in safety.

oOo

She’s given back to the white men and it’s forgotten that she’d ever left.

oOo

She reads over the Act and her only remarks are, “That’s foolish, we need supply from the other empires.” She doesn’t mention the voice in her head that screams about how she’s right, all in a differing voice from her own.

The official next to her laughs and says it’ll be easier soon.

oOo

The Plantation Act is reasonable, now that they relied on Britain’s resources- it didn’t occur to her that people would smuggle goods from Spain and France. The voice shouts about how it’s unjust and she internally snarks back at it that it is reasonable.

She sighs audibly at the inner voice’s persistence and the preacher asks her why she sigh like that. She smiles and blames it on tiredness.

(She bickers with the voice until it shuts up and she takes a nap, thinking that it’s just how tired she is.)

oOo

She hears of the war and she doesn’t bother with decoding the reasoning for Europe to go to war over land. There must be plenty for both, _right_?

The voice, she’d named it Brett, is oddly silent, he’d been ranting to her almost constantly.

oOo

Salutary Neglect is peaceful, but it’s ripped away brutally and suddenly the air is chokingly thick under Britain’s control. (She forces herself to say that they came back because of a rebellion of sorts up North and they want to prevent further outrage. It only lightens the thick air of control by a breath.)

She begins to bicker with Brett aloud in 2 different voices and it’s terrifying to see a girl yell at thin air and respond in a separate voice. She seems to be _mad_ and they cannot help it.

oOo

She hated to see the slaves, but the people justify it in way that seem reasonable to her. Brett makes an off comment about them and Bridgette can feel herself shaking.

A churchgoer asks her what’s wrong and she say that she had an illness a few weeks go and that she was still recovering. (The preacher looks at her oddly when the child asks if they can pray that Bridgette could recover from her illness faster.)

oOo

She reads the Acts, and even she is dumbfounded by the taxes. She knew, logically, that war costs a good deal of money, but she never knew that it cost enough to tax them like that.

Brett gives an approving hum and she shakes her head.

oOo

There’s a brunette and a blonde boy at her door at dawn, and the lady introduces herself as Massachusetts (Like the colony? Like her?) and states that she must come with them.

She finds herself in Philadelphia within the week and there’s a large house with people inside.

They all look at her and a realisation hits her- colonies. (She doesn’t name the warm feeling looped around her heart until well after the boy, Alfred, grows up- _the bond of family_.)

(They decide that if they were going to be family, that they would choose a collective surname. Massachusetts’ surname was agreed upon, since she had brought them together- _Jones_.)

oOo

War floods upon the colonies and Alfred grows quickly. She’s horrified that anyone would want to go against the nation that had set them up to flourish and had given them the opportunity to exist. (Madison breaks her nose, and Brett sides with the Revolutionaries)

The battles sting worse than any bee or venomous ant could ever do. (The rejection from Brett resonates within her, but she is overpowered alongside Charlotte. They sit back and watch the war pan out, hoping that they all come back at the end of the day and no permanent damage is done.)

oOo

Jamie brings Caroline back from a battle and the sinking feeling of death steeps into the house. Jamie’s the one who searches for her death-letters. (Everyone is relieved when she wakes up, and she seems fine, other than the pain of a wound healing.)

oOo

Word spreads about the end of the war and she almost deflates at the outcome. She’d always believed that they could still be a colony, but a nation is harder to exist as. (Brett forces her to be happy that the war is over, and he tries to comfort her that it’ll all be fine.)

She looks up at Alfred with worry. “We could easily ruin this, I hope you know this.”

oOo

Vermont is brought home, and soon enough the itch of loss resonates within her and she brings home a black girl from the land past the Appalachians. She’s terrified for the girl, but she can’t bring herself to resent her like her people would.

(She names the girl Kelsey Jolie once they’re home, and she saw the off glare in Jamie’s eyes about the territory. Jamie is dumbfounded when Taylor is brought home by his sister almost 4 years later.)

oOo

She finds the new capital, Washington , the District of Columbia, during the construction and Kelsey is ecstatic to have a baby sister. (Margaret become her name and it takes a day for it to be shortened to Maggie.)

oOo

Kelsey makes her see slavery in a new light, and soon enough the sight of slaves makes her gag.

oOo

The house soon gets filled with territories and it’s loud and daunting. (She’s fine with Kelsey and Maggie, but the house is swarming. Brett seems to like the chaos, and she questions his ideas again.)

oOo  
Another war starts, and Bridgette would very much like to pretend it didn’t exist, but she can’t when the British burn Hampton, Virginia and burns flare up on the small of her back.

(She couldn’t ignore it when Michigan died and Illinois wouldn’t leave his side until he woke up. She shook for the 2 weeks it took for him to resurrect.)

oOo

It doesn’t matter, that is her _baby_ caught in the hellish inferno that the capital becomes. Tyler and Levi come out with a scorched ball that definitely was Margaret. (She comes back, like they all do, but she can’t move and the doctors say she may never be able to move again.)

(She’s sleep deprived when the conversation starts: Brett? _Yes_ ? Promise me you won’t leave me. _Why_ ? I don’t want to have to go through this with someone who I've always been close to. And after a few minutes- _I promise_.)

oOo

Maggie recovers fully about 30 years later and Bridgette breathes easier as Venus helps Maggie learn how to walk again. (The realisation brings the almost broken household back together, and Bridgette notices how easily they disagree. Brett has to point it out to her for her to see it.)

oOo

She and Brett get into an argument over slavery and politics in front of the whole family aloud and she is horrified when Michigan comments about how she’s mad and deserves to be put into an asylum.

oOo

Bleeding Kansas sends everyone into a frenzy, blaming each other for the pain that their newest sister is experiencing. Brett consoles her as she waits for Harper to come again and be fine.

oOo

Lincoln wins and Jamie secedes.

oOo

She leaves after a shouting match with Noah and Levi about the state of the union.

She tries to ignore Brett as he rambles on about how the northern part of the family is right as she writes her notice of secession.

oOo

War is war, and this time she fights.

She only stops when the emptiness hits her.

oOo

She’s crying, it’s completely lonely- and it doesn’t help that none of her family knows what she means by “Brett’s gone.”

(They see him at a battle, a perfect copy of Bridgette but male. She collapses and their northern siblings look on as the overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loss fills Virginia. Charlotte takes her back to the House in Montgomery and tries to calm her down.)

oOo

The abuse and thick anger in the house doesn’t faze her, and she loses time.

She doesn’t realise 2 years have gone by until Isaac corrects her date on the letter to Margaret. She panics at the prospect that she hasn’t noticed the years going by.

(She’s glad she doesn’t remember the Civil War as well as some of the others do.)

oOo

She goes with her men and surrenders at Appomattox Court House.

(They welcome her back home bitterly and the first thing she does is go to Brett for some form of comfort.)

oOo

She decides that it’s better that they’re separate, since he doesn’t deserve the overwhelming feeling of Military Rule.

(He doesn’t treat her like she’s lesser, after all she’s been wayward in her decisions since she became a Crown colony.)

oOo

She lays with him on the blanket, looking up at the stars. It’s one of the few moments of peace she can get until she can regain her statehood.

“I missed you, when I was formed,” Brett breaks the silence.

“I missed you too,” is the only response she could cohesively respond with.

“They told me.” Bridgette nods, though he can’t see it.

Silence falls between them for what feels like five minutes to her.

“Brett?” Bridgette asks, her voice quivering.

“Hmm?”

“Promise me you won’t leave me again,” the words bubble out of her mouth fragmented and quavering. She’s almost on the verge of tears.

He grabs her hand and squeezes it. “ _I promise_.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry
> 
> Brett was the voice in her head from the revolution, but as differing opinions were offered, he represented the minority, i.e., Bridgette was Loyalist Virginia, Brett was Revolutionary Virginia, Bridgette was Confederate Virginia, Brett was Free Virginia, soon to become West Virginia.
> 
> Bridgette hardly left her room in the Civil War and always was in a trance-like depressive and dissociative state. She doesn't remember much about the Civil war because of this- hence the 'losing time' aspect.


End file.
